1) Why would Hamas deliberately endanger its civilians and children by launching rockets from schools and hospitals?
a) Hamas is a depraved death cult with no regard for human life.
b) Hamas sometimes resorts to unconventional methods in order to counter Israel's military superiority.
c) I'm no military planner but I'd say it's because Gaza is pretty small
2) A
US
ambassador and three others are killed in what turns out to be an orchestrated attack
on an unprotected consulate. Who is
responsible for the attack?
a) This
attack carries all of the signs of an al Queda operation designed to kill an
American ambassador on the anniversary of 9-11.
b) This
seems to be the spontaneous actions of opportunistic locals.
c) WHAT,
AT THIS POINT, DOES IT MATTER?
3) Your
spouse leaves elected office and immediately signs a $14 million book
deal, You sign an $8 million dollar book
deal. How would you describe your
financial situation?
a) We've
been very blessed financially and are thankful for what we have.
b) We
certainly deserved it after all the sacrifices we made.
c) We
were dead broke.
4) Libyan
dictator Muammar Gaddafi, who had given up his nuclear weapons program and had
been relatively quiet for some years, was dragged through the streets and brutally murdered by street thugs during a US
backed uprising. What are your comments?
a) This
entire series of events was not well thought out and has not served US interests in
any way.
b) We
led from behind.
c) We
came. We saw. He died. Hahaha.
5) The
scene is Andrews Air Force Base. A
Memorial Service is in progress to honor the four victims of the Benghazi terrorist
attack. You are the Secretary of
State. You are to meet with the father
of slain SEAL, Tyrone Woods, who answered a call for help and was killed
defending the US
consulate. As representative of the US
Government you want to say something meaningful. What do you say to the grieving parent?
a) I
am so sorry for your loss. Your son died
a hero’s death in service of his country.
b) This
seems to be the spontaneous actions of opportunistic locals
c) I
promise you that we are going to have the person who made that video arrested
and prosecuted.
6) Look
at that iconic picture taken in the Situation Room the night Osama Bin Laden
was killed by SEAL Team 6. You are all gathered
around the table watching events unfold.
The tension is understandably thick.
So thick that the Secretary of State has her hand covering her
mouth. Were events too much for her?
a) I
wouldn't read too much into anything. Since there was no live feed of the operation
what are they even looking at? And it
looks to me that “you-know-who” was off playing cards or something and actually
had to be photo shopped into the official picture.
b) Osama
Bin Laden was killed on Obama’s watch. That’s what’s important here.
c) I
am somewhat sheepishly concerned that it was my preventing one of my early
spring allergic coughs.
7) You
begin trading Cattle Futures with a $1000 investment and in eight months turn
that sum into $100,000. How could
someone mange such a feat.
a) They
couldn't. It’s impossible. The odds are
at least 250 million to one. This would
be like someone buying their first pair of figure skates today and then winning
the Olympic gold medal in figure skating tomorrow.
b) Well,
obviously we are dealing with a highly intelligent person here.
c) I
managed the whole thing on my own from reading the Wall Street Journal.
8) You
arrive at the US Air Force base in Tuzla, Bosnia where you are greeted by a
delegation, which includes an 8 year old school girl, for an official ceremony
taking place right there on the tarmac.
a) Just
another photo-op. Nothing unusual. See
for yourself. The whole thing is on You-Tube.
b) It
reminds me of Eleanor Roosevelt visiting the troops. Very inspiring.
c) I
remember landing under sniper fire. There
was supposed to be some kind of greeting ceremony, but instead we just ran with
our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base.
9) You
meet Sir Edmund Hillary at an official function and inexplicably blurt out that
you were named after him. Even though you were already six years old when he
climbed Mount Everest . What is your comment?
a) Hey,
that’s what some politicians do. Say anything
to ingratiate themselves with someone.
b) If
you believe something when you say it, it’s not a lie.
c) The
story is true. Remember, Edmund Hillary
was also once a notable bee keeper in New Zealand . Back in Chicago ,
my mother was always interested in bee keeping so she named me after Edmund
Hillary the beekeeper – well before he ever climbed Mt Everest.
10) When
you voted to give President Bush the authority to use military force in Iraq you said
this:
“In the four years since the
inspectors left, intelligence reports show that Saddam Hussein has worked to
rebuild his chemical and biological weapons stock, his missile delivery
capability, and his nuclear program. He
has also given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists, including al Queda
members…It is clear, however, that if left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will
continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and
will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons.”
a) Couldn't
have said it better myself.
b) Bush
somehow manipulated the intelligence reports.
c) My
vote was clearly intended to show support for UN inspections only.
Evaluating your answers.
Mostly a’s : You are
a teabagger. Forget about running for President. In fact, if you want to do something good for
America ,
why don’t you move to another country?
Mostly b’s : A little
better. You show some promise.
Mostly c’s:
Congratulations. You are a true
Democrat and the perfect candidate to be the next President of the United States .
_______________________________________________________________________
(Prof C turns away from the computer and looks over to Rob)
Prof C: What is
this supposed to be? Is it supposed to be funny? Because I don’t get the joke. Someone makes up a bunch of quotes and
pretends that Hillary Clinton said them? Is that supposed to be funny?
Rob: All the quotes
are actual quotes
Prof C: Yeah,
right.
Rob: You can look
them all up for yourself any time you want to.
Prof C: All taken way out of context, of course.
Rob: Quite the opposite. All taken in context. Look them up.
Prof C: Links
please. Where are the links? That should tell you something right there
Rob: Yeah. It tells me you’re too lazy to do a simple search. If this
was a story about George Bush walking down the street with his shoes untied,
all you lefties would be falling all over yourselves passing around e-mails with
links to every leftie website in the world
Prof C: Aah… I don’t think so. That whole quiz is bullshit. And I don’t need to look up anything to know
its bullshit. Hillary will be the next President. You can count on it.
Rob: What if
voters started to realize these quotes are all for real?
Prof C: Well, come to think of it, maybe one of the
quotes is authentic,
Rob: …
Prof C: Even if they were all true, which they aren't,
listen carefully to this quote: “WHAT, AT THIS POINT, DOES IT MATTER?”
Rob: ....... well, you got me there.
